Jess ScheulerTrue Blood: Fava Beans and a Nice Bottle of Sugar Blonde Highlights
June 18th 2009 00:33
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True Blood: Fava Beans and a Nice Bottle of Sugar Blonde Highlights
You'll Be the Death of Me
We pick up where we left off at the end of last season with Tara and Sookie screaming at the sight of a dead body in the back of Detective Bellefleur's car. We can all breathe a sigh of relief that it isn't Lafayette. Thank you Alan Ball for not following the book on this one and killing off the best character on this show! It happens to be vodoo lady/corner pharmacy worker Miss Jeanette, who had her heart torn out and appeared to have been alive when it happened.
Andy Bellefleur spends the entire episode drunkenly trying to solve the crime that happened in his own backseat, grilling Tara over how she knew Miss Jeanette and random people in Merlottes. Are there ANY other bars in Bon Temps besides Merlottes? Just wondering. Anyways, Tara's mother shows up at the police station and mourns the death of Miss Jeanette and also refuses to believe that she was just a scammer who fed them peyote and epicac to induce "excorcisms". Maryann comes and picks her up in her adorable Ferris Bueller sportscar and dresses down Tara's Mom hardcore.
Meanwhile, a new love interest for Sam is hired at Merlottes and Sam is having a bit of a nervous breakdown over Maryann. He has flashbacks to when he was an adorable little beagle dog who looked like he just won the Westminster. He was also 17 and I'm not sure what the laws are down south, but it's highly untoward that Maryann was seducing him and turning into a human vibrator in the process. BTW, that was weird. He tries to return a plastic trash bag full of cash that he had stolen only to have her laugh in his face that her visit to Bon Temps has nothing to do with him.
It may have to do with Tara and Eggs, who enjoy eating exotic fruits by the pool and getting stoned at Maryann's Inn of Weirdness. They also kiss before they are interrupted my Maryann's servant man, who is in turn smacked by Maryann for offering them and ruining the mood. They do make up for it later by full on making out at Merlottes while Tara is bartending. Sam looks on completely confused.
Meanwhile Bill and Sookie break up and get back together a few times this epidsode when Sookie finds out A). That Bill didn't tell her about Jessica, the vampire he sired and B). That he killed her molesting Uncle Bartlett. Bill having to deal with new vampire Jessica was the funniest thing we've seen yet. "We recycle in this house!" he yells at her, while trying to combine different types of true blood to find something she'll drink, instead of people. Petulant Jessica falls under Sookie's spell immediately, all it takes is a person talking to her like a regular person, shocker! Sookie promises her a girls night and she happily agrees. Although she and Bill fight over the "killing my uncle" thing, they still get back together and get the sheets dirty with blood stains, ewww.
Jason Stackhouse is all about the Lord. Trying to make sense of the death of his V-junkie girlfriend Amy and his best friend killing people, he decides to follow the Fellowship of the Sun instead of his "family jewels". When Uncle Bartlett's body is found in the river, and he leaves all of this money (about 11K) to Sookie. Sookie doesn't want the money and hands it off to Jason who takes it as a sign of God that he was meant to use it for admittance to a Fellowship Bible camp.
Also confused is Lafayette who spends the episode in the darkness of a dungeon chained to some weird contraption. He's been there for days, and eventually one of the hick guys that he threw out of the bar and who burned down that house full of vampires is thrown in with him. He figures out that he is there to atone for dealing V-juice, until Eric enters the dungeon with highlighting tinfoils in his hair to eat the hick guy who tries to kill him with a silver cross. Funniest death ever. Don't mess with vikings. Or disturb their hair doin time.
Awesome season premiere.
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