Jess ScheulerTrue Blood Recap- Beyond Here Lies Nothin
September 17th 2009 00:09
Category: True Blood (Recaps, News & More), News
Beyond Here Lies Nothin
Or
Something Borrowed, Something Ewww
Or
Something Borrowed, Something Ewww
Michelle Forbes
Sookie is trapped in her former home with blacked eyed and scary LaFayette, Tara and Eggs. LaFayette forces her to change into a white Deb's looking prom dress and she is forced to become a matron of honor to the ultimate Bridezilla (Mariann) who has crossed the line by stealing and wearing Sookie's grandmother's wedding dress. Mariann points out that she probably would never use it anyways, lol. Sookie and Mariann have a pow wow, where Mariann tries to get her to use her special Sookie sparkles on her again like before, only to find that Sookie can't perform under pressure. Mariann tries to vibrate Sookie into going black eyed. It does not work. Mariann refuses to believe that she's human, because she cannot take her over, and forces Sookie to think back to times when she performed inhuman feats i.e the time she choked the Rattray guy with a chain in the first episode without using her hands. BTW, Mariann looks awesome in that amazing white gown with her hair all done up in curls. I call that hairstyle "The Maenad".
Sadly, this episode is mostly Eric-less. He's busy playing Yahtzee with the Queen, who basically jumps him after warning him not to taste Sookie's blood, because he'll fall in love with her, that Sookie isn't human. However does she know so much about Sookie I wonder? Well actually I don't wonder. I know because I read the books. Yep I'm one of those people. Then she warns him to make sure that no one finds out that she is having Eric sell V. And to keep Bill under control.
Jason and Andy join the mob of the black eyed. It happened in like two seconds. They didn't even have a chance and more importantly, we learn that Jason can be controlled by Mariann, but Sookie cannot. Interesting. Back at Che Stackhouse, Sookie is made to lick a disgusting ostrich egg that is the symbol for fertility. Ewww. And I've forgotten to mention that LaFayette is also dressed in a white bridesmaid gown just like the rest of the maidens- Arlene, Tara and Jane Bodehouse. He manages to rock it.
To Sookie's horror, Bill shows up at Che Stackhouse with Sam as his prisoner and turns him over to Mariann. Mariann has him tied to the sculpture of meat and stabs him with a long knife while Sookie screams and goes nuts. Bill lets her go and tells her "to use her gift" which I guess to Sookie means to shove over the sculpture of meat/offering with her magical Sookie Sparkles until she finally reads the dying Sam's mind asking her to destroy it, and distract Mariann. Then she runs like hell into the woods cause Mariann is PISSED. They are stopped in their cat & mouse game when a stunningly beautiful white bull majestically appears in the woods. Mariann believes the conjuring was successful. Then the bull stabs her through with it's horns and she accepts her death with happiness. Until the bull turns back into Sam, who rips out her heart and she dissolves screaming, into a blackened corpse. Naked Sam and Sookie hug it out. Then Bill collapses onto the ground, he had healed Sam while Mariann was distracted by Sookie. Meanwhile Tara and Jason and the rest of the town come out of their craziness and apologize for all the things they don't remember doing but must have done.
Hoyt's mother comes out of it as well and unfortunately, her son realizes she's just as awful in her normal life as well when she admits that his father did kill himself and she used his death as a way of holding her son to her for almost 30 years because she didn't want to be alone. Hoyt leaves the house in rage, after telling her that he wished Jessica had finished her off. Hoyt goes to apologize to Jessica and Jessica goes to apologize to Hoyt, only first she has some business to attend to so that she won't lose her temper and attack his mother again. She seduces a gross trucker and drains him. Oh amore.
At Che Stackhouse, everyone is dealing with the aftermath. Eggs is having a freakout from having blood on his hands and spends the day trying to get clean while arguing with Tara about wanting to know everything he did. Bill and Sam bond over their mutal gain in trust. Sam spies a beautiful doe wandering in the yard and sheds a tear for Daphne, his longing for others like him leads him back to his adoptive parents who abandoned him as a teenager when his shapeshifting became apparent. They provided him with the names of his real parents. Shifting is genetic, which means to him, there are others who understand.
Bill has a purple evening gown delivered to Merlotte's for Sookie, inviting her to a lovely French Restaurant for dinner. Out in the parking lot, WHERE PEOPLE DIE, Sookie is hanging out looking at her new gown when Eggs approaches her and begs her to help him remember what he did. Sooke complies and reveals that he was Mariann's assassin and he would never be able to wash his hands clean of the blood they shed. He runs off into the woods in horror. Later that night, Sookie is charmed when she and Bill arrive at the restaurant and realized that he rented the whole thing out for just the two of them. Then Bill proposes marriage "Miss. Stackhouse, will you do meh the honor of becuming meh wufe"? Sookie freaks. Crying and clearly confused, she points out that maybe she should recover first from the horror of having her world turned upside down, her home desecrated, her friends who that took her prisoner, her Sam who was nearly killed in front of her, before she gives him an answer. Then she runs to the bathroom to compose herself, staring down at the exquisite diamond ring and allowing the idea of a white wedding and the dream of it that she's had for her entire life to take over her doubts that she'll be marrying Bill "stodgy" Compton before accepting her fate and walking back to the table, which she finds turned over, and Bill missing.
Back at Merlottes, distraught Eggs approaches Andy in the parking lot, armed with the sacrifical knife and tries to get him to arrest him while confessing to the murders and still managing to nearly stab Andy in the process. At one point, it appears that he is going to butcher Andy with the knife and a shot rings out, killing Eggs instantly. Jason Stackhouse standing in horror with the gun in his hand and apologizing, believing that Eggs was going to kill Andy. His new BFF covers up the crime saying that Eggs confessed to the murders and killed himself. Tara and everyone comes running, and as you might guess, Tara is inconsolable. But far better off. You just don't realize it yet Tara.
So we end with a kidnapping and a murder. So excited for next season!!!
Best line of the night-
A Bon Temper at Merlotte's observing Sam walk away from the table-
"God Bless who made those jeans. I'm serious, I'd wear him like a scrunchy"
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