Jess ScheulerTrue Blood Recap- Scratches
June 29th 2009 23:09
Category: True Blood (Recaps, News & More), News
"Scratches" or You have a Wii????
We pick up with Sookie and Bill on their way back from Jessica's disastrous family reunion. Bill is pissed because he had to glamor all of them in order to clean up Sookie's mess. Annoyed with Bill's refusal of her apology ("sorry Bill"), she jumps out of the car and marches huffily down the dark country road on her own. Big mistake. She winds up getting attacked by a weird creature with horns,who looks a little like Dave Grohl in the Ferocious D video when he played the devil. Giving her his blood doesn't work, so Bill carries a foaming at the mouth Sookie to Fangtasia. Sookie endures a horrific treatment to heal her back from a mini lady doctor, named Dr. Ludwig, while Bill flinches every time she screams in pain. Eric has Pam get her favorite pumps dirty looking in the woods for the horn guy who attacked Sookie. When Sookie needs vampire blood to heal, Eric surprisingly offers his own. I highly doubt it was out of the kindness of his heart however, more like, he would prefer to have a tangible link to her so that he can have access whenever he needs something.
Sam tries to cut and run, leaving the bar to Terry Bellefeur, who surprisingly calls him out on his bullshit accusing him of being a coward. Jason Stackhouse is having hallucinations of dead Vamp Eddie, and nearly talks himself out of hating vampires during a Fellowship version of AA. Sarah Newlin (in her awesome Peg Bundy/Donna Martin 90210 hair) works her feminine whiles to take care of Jason "thinking" for himself. Her husband has Jason over for dinner, and who broke it down for Jason in simple terms he can understand, Hating Evil Vampires= Loving God. I wonder if he knows his calculus, it says U Me=US. Sorry couldn't help myself.
Meanwhile, Tara finally becomes suspicious of Maryann after her house party has people stripping like it's Girls Gone Wild and eyeballs turning black. But what really got her ticked was a topless girl who proceeded to give Eggs a massage in front of her in the jacuzzi and that he allowed it.
Sookie wanders around Fangtasia in an adorable Fangtasia t-shirt when she wakes up fully healed. But after she reads the mind of the daylight barmaid, who thinks about Lafayette in the basement chained up, she steals the gun and attempts to rescue him, only to be thwarted by the power of iron chains she can't break. Fuming, she slaps Eric across the face, which is awesome, but I'm pretty sure she broke her hand on his marble godness. She brokers a deal that in exchange for Lafayette's freedom and 10K she will accompany him to Dallas.
Best part of the entire episode is Jessica bewitching adorable Hoyt in the cutest first date ever. Watch Jessica have her fangs charmed off as Hoyt explains how awesome chicken steak is. Even better is his complete adoration and acceptance pf her once he realizes she's a vampire. She takes him home to Che Bill, where he gets super-excited that she has a Wii and they bond over their mutually embarrassing parents. However, she is horrified by the fangs that shoot out uncontrollably when she and Hoyt start making out, but Hoyt assures her that she doesn't have to hide anything from him and there is nothing wrong with her. Then we assume she attacks him, who wouldn't? He's the most delectable thing ever.
LaFayette finds his way home to crawl under an afghan and sob, for what I am assuming will be a day or two. Then Lafayette will be back to his regularly awesome self. Sam goes skinny-dipping in a pond with Daphne, the incompetent new waitress that he yells at all day, only the viewer sees that she has healed but deep gashes down her back just like Sookie did. Sookie and Bill return home, where Bill rips Jessica off Hoyt only to find that Jessica was only jumping Hoyt old-school and not for his blood. SO GOOOD.
We pick up with Sookie and Bill on their way back from Jessica's disastrous family reunion. Bill is pissed because he had to glamor all of them in order to clean up Sookie's mess. Annoyed with Bill's refusal of her apology ("sorry Bill"), she jumps out of the car and marches huffily down the dark country road on her own. Big mistake. She winds up getting attacked by a weird creature with horns,who looks a little like Dave Grohl in the Ferocious D video when he played the devil. Giving her his blood doesn't work, so Bill carries a foaming at the mouth Sookie to Fangtasia. Sookie endures a horrific treatment to heal her back from a mini lady doctor, named Dr. Ludwig, while Bill flinches every time she screams in pain. Eric has Pam get her favorite pumps dirty looking in the woods for the horn guy who attacked Sookie. When Sookie needs vampire blood to heal, Eric surprisingly offers his own. I highly doubt it was out of the kindness of his heart however, more like, he would prefer to have a tangible link to her so that he can have access whenever he needs something.
Sam tries to cut and run, leaving the bar to Terry Bellefeur, who surprisingly calls him out on his bullshit accusing him of being a coward. Jason Stackhouse is having hallucinations of dead Vamp Eddie, and nearly talks himself out of hating vampires during a Fellowship version of AA. Sarah Newlin (in her awesome Peg Bundy/Donna Martin 90210 hair) works her feminine whiles to take care of Jason "thinking" for himself. Her husband has Jason over for dinner, and who broke it down for Jason in simple terms he can understand, Hating Evil Vampires= Loving God. I wonder if he knows his calculus, it says U Me=US. Sorry couldn't help myself.
Meanwhile, Tara finally becomes suspicious of Maryann after her house party has people stripping like it's Girls Gone Wild and eyeballs turning black. But what really got her ticked was a topless girl who proceeded to give Eggs a massage in front of her in the jacuzzi and that he allowed it.
Sookie wanders around Fangtasia in an adorable Fangtasia t-shirt when she wakes up fully healed. But after she reads the mind of the daylight barmaid, who thinks about Lafayette in the basement chained up, she steals the gun and attempts to rescue him, only to be thwarted by the power of iron chains she can't break. Fuming, she slaps Eric across the face, which is awesome, but I'm pretty sure she broke her hand on his marble godness. She brokers a deal that in exchange for Lafayette's freedom and 10K she will accompany him to Dallas.
Best part of the entire episode is Jessica bewitching adorable Hoyt in the cutest first date ever. Watch Jessica have her fangs charmed off as Hoyt explains how awesome chicken steak is. Even better is his complete adoration and acceptance pf her once he realizes she's a vampire. She takes him home to Che Bill, where he gets super-excited that she has a Wii and they bond over their mutually embarrassing parents. However, she is horrified by the fangs that shoot out uncontrollably when she and Hoyt start making out, but Hoyt assures her that she doesn't have to hide anything from him and there is nothing wrong with her. Then we assume she attacks him, who wouldn't? He's the most delectable thing ever.
LaFayette finds his way home to crawl under an afghan and sob, for what I am assuming will be a day or two. Then Lafayette will be back to his regularly awesome self. Sam goes skinny-dipping in a pond with Daphne, the incompetent new waitress that he yells at all day, only the viewer sees that she has healed but deep gashes down her back just like Sookie did. Sookie and Bill return home, where Bill rips Jessica off Hoyt only to find that Jessica was only jumping Hoyt old-school and not for his blood. SO GOOOD.
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