Jess ScheulerTrue Blood Recap: Timebomb
August 11th 2009 02:21
Category: True Blood (Recaps, News & More), News
Timebomb
OR
Godric of the Tribal Tattoo's, You're My Hero
OR
Godric of the Tribal Tattoo's, You're My Hero
Godric is standing above Sookie with Gabe, her would-be rapist in one hand, snapping his neck and dropping him to the ground while Sookie looks up at him in awe. She hears a vampire coming to their rescue and assumes that Bill has finally gotten on his horse and rode in, only to be greeted by Eric, whom Godric refers to as "my child". Eric obediently takes a kneel in front of his maker, but still tries to argue with him when Godric tells him to take the Sookie and leave him there in the basement of the Fellowship. Alarms are going off, apparently someone noticed Eric's entrance or they noticed that Godric was running around killing people. UNRESTRICTED. It doesn't make sense to me how Godric can be wandering around the Fellowship unchecked. So has he just been hanging out with them, allowing them to THINK they have him prisoner? If so, why? Eric obeys his Maker and leaves the cell with Sookie
Cue Credits.
Jason was only shot with a paintball gun by Sarah (whoo, praise Jesus!), for in her view, working for the vampires and seducing her in the process. Jason, however, is STILL completely confused but figures out that the FOTS has his sister prisoner. He takes the gun and the golf cart, leaving Sarah in the ditch, with her ridiculously huge hair. Cause' no one shoots Jason Stackhouse in the balls with a paintball or talks bad about Sookie, these two things ignite Jason's superpowers of Hot Guy Awesomeness.
Meanwhile, Eric and Sookie are attempting to escape the Fellowship. They hide in a corridor, watching FOTS men evacuate the women and children and readying for war. Sookie, of course, begs Eric for leniency, to not kill the FOTS people. Sookie asks why Bill isn't there and he replies that Bill's attachment to her would cloud his judgment and he would kill innocent people in order to save her. Which, is completely untrue, Bill would only kill a couple of innocent people. Not like a LOT of innocent people. Meanwhile I think it's interesting that Eric is trying to portray himself as the opposite to Bill. Bill would kill innocent people, Sookie, but that's not me. I don't kill people wearing a pair of flops and highlight foils. I'm the opposite of whiny, irrational Bill, Sookie, trust me. That last bit about trusting him was what he really said, leaning into her ear and whispering it in a VERY sexy way.
Then, intentionally hunching over (trying not to let his like 6'4 frame be imposing) on his walk to the FOTS guards and attempts with the AWESOMEST southern drawl (I heart you Alexander Skarsgaard) to talk them into letting him out. When that fails he decides to work his glamor, and Sookie warns him of an incoming stake attack, he takes the three guards out. It's all for nothing though, there are more men outside and they decide to take another way out, through the sanctuary. Unfortunately, they are stopped by Steve Newlin and a gang of about 20 of his men, all still in their pajamas, but wielding weapons. They don't need Godric, for the burning, any vampire will do, Eric will do. With another sexy look shot at Sookie, and an accompanying "don't worry about me", Eric quietly gives himself over.
In the Hotel Room of Unfun, Lorena has Barry the Bellboy by the throat, and decides to take a taste of him, before declaring that he tastes different. Bill cremes Lorena over the head with a plasma tv, grabs Barry and gets the hell out of dodge. He stops by Jessica's hotel room along the way only to barge in on Jessica and Hoyt going at it. Everyone involved is horrified, Bill even more so at Hoyt proclaiming that "Those were screams of pleasure, right?". Bill has zero time for these shenanigans tells Hoyt to get Jessica and drive her back home to Bon Temps while he zooms back out of the room and finally to Sookie.
Back in Bon Temps, Tara is getting her tarot cards read by LaFayette and it is not looking good for her. Eggs looses time again during another blackout, and goes to Tara in a panic. Together they try to piece together what has been happening to them. Again, they forget to care about said blackout crisis when Marianne serves them up "hunter's souflee" aka bloody red souffle of Daphne's heart. EWWWW. Watching them eat bloody bits and become weird and crazy in the process was disgusting. Going black eyed and smack-happy, Eggs and Tara begin domestic abusing each other and screwing. Bizarre.
We know what Eggs was up to during his zombie blackout. Apparently, he was carving Daphne's heart out and dumping her body in the freezer at Merlottes, calling Sam, who is camping out in his car in the woods and then calling the cops to frame him for it. No wonder he was so hungry after all that. Long story short, Sam decides against covering up the crime and is about to call the cops himself when they show up and arrest him for the murder of Daphne. Andy Bellefleur corroborating your story about a bull lady who was trying to sacrifice you and turning people into zombies during an orgy is not going to make you look innocent. Sam is hauled into jail.
Meanwhile, Jason Stackhouse has gotten his groove back. That groove involves showing up at the church, which has been surrounded by soldiers who aren't letting anyone in (there's a vamppur inside, lol) . One quick flash of is secret "honesty" decoder ring and Stackhouse charisma later and Jason is in.
Eric is bound to the altar with silver chains and beginning to fry in silence while Sookie catcalls Steve Newlin's crazy rants. Eric tries to barter for Sookie's freedom, but he denies him, instead calling her a traitor to her race, and they are about to tie to her to Eric so they can burn together when Bill charges into the room screaming "Suki !!".
This causes a standoff between Steve and Bill, with an exasperated Steve asking Sookie "Honestly, what do they see in you?" lol ,while holding a gun to her head, until Jason with his Hot Guy Awesomeness powers picks off Steve with his paintball gun, knocking his gun from his hand and the second shot hitting Steve square in between the eyes, leaving a hilarious green bulls eye on his forehead. From there all hell breaks loose. Against Bill's wishes, Sookie runs to Eric and peels the silver chains from him. I think it's significant in that it hearkens back to the first ever episode when Sookie saves Bill by doing the same to save him from the Rattray's. Eric immediately takes Steve by the throat, while his cheerleader from the back (Jason Stackhouse) screams to kill him. Then Stan and the rest of the Texas vamps bust in to take revenge each grabbing a churchgoer, when Godric shows up and puts a stop to it.
Godric wants to set a good example, by agreeing to peace between the Fellowship and vampires, but Steve will have none of it, asking Godric to martyr him and send him to Jesus. Godric will do none of the sort, and he peaces out with his vampires after asking if any of the followers if they too would like to die for Newlin. There are no takers. Jason tells Sookie he's sorry. Newlin continues to insult Jason by saying that on the final day of reckoning that he knew who would be going to heaven and who was going to hell. To which Jason replies, "I've already been to heaven and it was inside your wife", awwww SNAP! Then he punches Steve in the face.
There is a big vampire party to celebrate the homecoming of Godric. Vampire parties on this show should happen far more often, it's so interesting to watch the power plays and the intrigue. Godric sits like a buddha accepting well wishes. I'm still confused as to how and why he allowed himself to be captured by the Fellowship. I think he was just bored and had nothing better to do, similar to Ally Sheedy's character in the Breakfast Club. For a 2000 year old vampire, very few things are interesting to him anymore, so he chills in detention on a Saturday. Jason and Eric have a heart to heart, where Eric reminds him that dealing V is a crime and if he's smart he will not repeat the offense. Then Jason stammers that he doesn't do that anymore, to which Eric benevolently tells him to "run along". Sookie spends the night trying to find out from Bill why he didn't come save her. Trying to weasel out of it, he tries to avoid telling her about Lorena, even going out back to have a private chat with Jason.
In other icky news, Jessica finds out that she will be an eternal virgin, as each time she has sex, her virginity re-heals itself. Understandably, she has a major freakout.
Back at the party, Bill and Eric have a convo which devolves quickly into a pissing match over Sookie, with Bill telling him to stay away from Sookie. Bill tries to tell him that she will never be his and he's powerless to stop their love, which I'm sure only makes the chase more tantalizing for Eric, a man who loves a challenge. Godric allows Hugo to live, even in his treachery and Bill and Jason have an adorable chat where Jason apologizes for being an idiot and HUGS Bill. The look on Bill's face is priceless, especially when Jason asks if it was good for him. Back at Godric's side, Eric tries to tease out of him why he was with the fellowship. Godric reveals that he thinks vampires are elitist a-holes who made human's hate them because they never treated them like equals. Man, he is really bored.
All skanked out looking in a tight red dress, Lorena shows up at the party looking for a fight. Mildly annoyed at Bill's escape by hitting her over the head with a plasma screen tv, she quips, "There's no reason for domestic violence", lol, Tara & Eggs please take note. Then a catfight ensues over Bill with Lorena trying to kill her, until Godric stops it by grabbing Lorena by the throat. He admonishes her over her loss of control and banishes her from his territory. Basically, Godric is the Cliff Huxtable of True Blood, the voice of reason, keeping everyone in line. I hope he doesn't come to Bon Temps, I like it crazy.
Finally in the last few seconds, Lukinator shows up at the party, strapped with explosives. Then he blows. I hope Jason wasn't standing too close.
Stay Tuned- Evan Rachel Wood is guest starring soon as the Queen of Louisiana!!!!
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